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“A portrait of my girls, once a week, every week, in 2016.”

Songwriter: The things that get her excited in life are babies and getting married. She’s eight. I really seriously thought it would start later. She honestly did not get that from me. I keep asking her if she wants to be a doctor. Nope. She just wants to be a mum. Look at the accidental feminist in me somehow thinking she needs to want more then that. I like to claim I am completely happy with my role as a mother but maybe deep down all this ‘I need more then this’ stuff has been festering. I do believe its an issue more relevant today then it was for generations past. Never before have we been so aware of every. single. detail. of everyone elses lives. Enviously aware of everything we are not. Thankfully I do know that I am all I need to be in Christ. I believe that everyone has been equipped differently and everyone has a different calling to fulfil here in this life. That doesn’t mean I don’t still fall into the old traps of being envious of other peoples gifts. I fight it thought because I really do love loving what others do. It feels good to love. Sometimes its just a little harder to get there. 

Dreamer: Is it possible that at the moment she is the instigator of all evil. She is quite apt at starting a good argument with simple quips that aren’t necessarily bad in and of themselves but are clearly intended for bad. She knows just how to deal the subtle blows that cause tears to flow from the older or fists to fly from the younger while I stand there not actually sure what happened or how to even reprimand. In the end its always the same ‘Sweetie did you intend to show love when you said that or were you saying that to try make them angry’. She’s so honest. She’ll say straight away that her heart was in the wrong place. And then occasionally she’ll come out with ‘I keep trying mum but I just don’t know how to stop it’. Don’t we all darling dreamer, don’t we all. 

Goose: She wants to learn. So eager and excited by new information. I should jump on it and start teaching her things, embrace it and launch into teachable moments. But instead I stand back, take a pic (so I can pretend it was an amazing learning experience) and then tell her to clean up her mess and stop taking things off the shelves at the shop. Fun? Pffft we don’t do fun sweetie. We have things we need to get done.

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0/52

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“A portrait of my girls, once a week, every week, in 2016.”

*ahem* taken in the last week of 2015. Clear underwater ocean photos in shallow water are actually surprisingly difficult to capture. Well, to clarify, they are surprisingly difficult for ME to capture, they are probably quite easy for good photographers, I’m just sharing my age old slow to capture 1000 photos later camera experience. But the beauty of under water is something truly special. The goggles on the other hand …

4/52

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“A portrait of my girls, once a week, every week, in 2016.”

Songwriter: She’s been reading!!! Not just sorting her books by colour, then by type, then by size, then moving them to a different position in her bedroom, then moving them to the games room, then back again. No, she actually picked one up and READ IT!

Dreamer: ‘I think that maybe for my birthday dinner instead of choosing what I like I should really choose what Macy and Ella would like and maybe instead of my favourite carrot cake we should have texas chocolate cake because that’s Ella’s favourite’ ‘But you don’t like chocolate cake’ *shrugs shoulders*

Goose: ‘Mum I think when I go to school I should introduce myself to EVERYBODY’. 

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3/52

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“A portrait of my girls, once a week, every week, in 2016.”

Songwriter: I need to give her space to grow up, only its surprisingly hard with the first born. Chatting to brother and sister in-laws whose first born children are leaving the nest and I realise that whilst its hard, its life and we need to give them room to be themselves. I think I smother her, I try to control her, and I see it come smack bang right back at me and its amazing how much it hurts to see your own failures in your sweet children. No-one prepared me for that heartache. The heartache of continually facing your sins, your idols, your bad habits in the lives of your children. Songwriter: “When I grow up I want to be a hospital keeper where babies are born so I can help lots of mums with their babies” (aka midwife – she was thinking along the lines of zoo keeper)

Dreamer: It was hard to get a photo of her not reading. She’s a follower. I think it’ll be like that for a little while yet until she finds her own rhythm. She loves to mother, just like her big sister and to her big sisters utter disapproval. The glasses are not real, they are a favourite for the girls from the dressup box. Dreamer: “Mum if you can please have more babies I promise I’ll be sooooo helpful”

Goose: She does not get her bone cleaning skills from me. Eyes closed in pure delight she’ll get that bone clean and clear and then offer to show me how to do mine. She often picks on my failed logic. Me: “You are four now and then you’ll grow and grow and grow and on your next birthday you’ll be FIIIVVEE!” (perhaps I had a slightly condescending tone – my bad) Goose: “Well then you better stop having birthdays mum otherwise soon you’ll be a GIANT!”

Just b.

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